Sunday, January 31, 2010

Scooter Boy

Back to the good old stories of my life... :) My sister is in town and we have been hanging out, seeing movies- everything we can. Last night we were going to see a movie and she invited a friend, so we went to pick her up and she lives in the same complex and same building that I lived in years ago. I got talking to them and reminiscing about when I lived there and was reminded of this story. :)

Once upon a time I moved into Liberty Square, the Virginia building to be precise. We had a whole group that all wanted to live together and Virginia allowed all 6 of us to live together for a pretty good price. We all moved in and one of our roommates was attending Beauty School and didn't start school until a week after the rest of us. So the first week she was REALLY bored when we all left for school. I returned home one afternoon to find her telling another roommate about her "adventures" of the day. They consisted of sitting in one of our rooms that faced the street and watching all the people walk to and from school. JUST watching. She was telling us of this guy who, from what she could tell from a distance, was REALLY cute! She referred to him as scooter boy and he had a blue or red scooter- I can't remember which color exactly. But she had seen two guys on scooters that day, one had a red one, the other one had a blue one. Let's say the one with the blue one was the cute one. She jokingly said that she wanted scooter boy.

SO, brilliant as I am, I jumped up, as if I was bored and had just remembered something else I needed to do and left the room. I returned with some dry erase markers and proceeded to write on the window in that room that faced the street. I wrote backwards so people on the street could read it and I made the lettering bold too. I wrote, "Scooter boy we want you! Call us at:" I put the apartment phone number on there, because this was back in the day that apartments all had phones in them because cell phones weren't quite big enough to get rid of the apt phone. Then I proceeded to write all of our nicknames on the window.

Well, that year was fun and we got SEVERAL calls from random guys saying, "Hey, this is scooter boy, I'm calling to talk to..." and he'd give one of the nicknames on the window. Or "Hey this is scooter boy, who am I speaking to?" I don't know is any of us went on any dates with any of the guys who called, but we met most of them. I mean, it's not hard to figure out which apartment that window belonged to. We met a lot of people that year and had lots of fun. But we never met scooter boy or saw that scooter after the first week.

Well, at the end of the school year I packed my things and headed home. My first Sunday back we had a regional Single Adult combined church meeting out in Ventura. I went with my cousin and we ended up sitting next to two guys. One of them mentioned he was just there for the summer for summer sales and had just come home from Provo. So I asked where he had lived. Well we had both lived in Liberty Square and we asked which buildings we lived in. He found out I lived in Virginia and he asked if I knew the people in the top apt on the south side, so I said of course- they were all in my ward, after all. Then I asked why? So he tells me that they had written on their window something about "We want you Scooter Boy" and proceeds to tell me that he had a scooter at the beginning of the year but then sold it because it cost too much to keep. He had never called the number but had always wondered if it was him. So I asked, "What color was your scooter?" He said, "Blue." I started laughing and when I stopped for a second I said, "Hi, I'm J$$$ (we had already introduced ourselves) and that was my apartment, and you're Scooter Boy!"

Anyways, so I met Scooter Boy, and we exchanged numbers because he was in the area all summer. We had talked about hanging out at the beach or getting a group together to play halo, but I never actually saw him again, nor do I think either one of us texted the other one. But that's my story of Scooter Boy and how I finally met him! :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dictatorship or Democracy?

This may sound a little drastic but I'll explain. We live in a democracy- or I guess if you get down to it, we live in a republic democracy. In my communications class we have been discussing the importance and purpose of journalism. The purpose of journalism is to increase the public's interest in what is going on and portraying the facts so that they can make an educated decision.

I will admit, I have a love/hate relationship with politics. I've never been one to get into the news or even newspapers (funny that I am now going into journalism which feeds into the news and newspapers, but I DO like having a voice). Anyways, I have sometimes avoided politics because I felt the system was corrupt. I'm not sure I disagree with this statement now, but I also have grown to love politics. I LIKE being involved and I feel everyone should be.

So onto my title- it may be a little extreme but I think it helps us see the issue at stake. People complain about how Obama is making our country communist, or trying to form a dictatorship. Fears also that have been made extreme to generate a larger audience. The thing is, a lot of people DON'T agree with what Obama is doing, so they create fear in what COULD happen. And I guess it's true, to an extent. But we still live in a democracy, and if we USE that power, then nothing that drastic can happen.

BUT are WE allowing it to go TOWARDS dictatorship by not participating in our democracy? We have a voice if we choose to use it. We can vote. We can write letters to our representatives and senators that we elected (the republican aspect of our government). If we choose not to speak, collectively as a population, then who IS speaking? Only the Senate, the House of Representatives and the President. So maybe not a dictatorship of one person, but if we do not participate WE are limiting the amount of voices in our government.

So going back to my Obama post- instead of taking the time to write and send around hate mail- why not write a letter about WHY you don't agree and send that around, and if people agree MAYBE they'll start sending it into their representatives as well. There are always at least two sides to a situation, but if we never speak up, how can we blame someone else for our government becoming more of a dictatorship for our OWN laziness at being involved? Sending hate mail does NOTHING, and so it is NOT being involved. So be heard, write your thoughts and seek to inform people of your opinion in a way that can actually generate a result, and send it to people who can DO something about it. Hate is not the answer- creating fear in people isn't the answer- or at least I don't think it is. That's how Hitler gained his support- he played on the emotions without INFORMING enough so people could make LOGICAL decisions that could've brought them out of their depression without starting a world war. Participate and don't HATE!

Monday, January 25, 2010

"Dear John"

So I read the book "Dear John" by Nicholas Sparks. WARNING: this post may contain spoilers- if the movie follows the book....

My thoughts- I loved it, and I hated it. I loved it because it's a great story- I could relate to it. But I hated it because it reminded me of one of my relationships. I met this boy, once upon a time and there was a connection. I, like John, don't believe in love at first sight- but it was as if I had already met him before. Anyways, the story is different, but in the book they date for 2 weeks before he leaves to go back to the army. In my story, I knew him for a while, but when we dated, it was only for two weeks before I left. I can relate to both characters in some ways. We did the whole email and phone call thing and IMing for 3 months before I left on my mission. Then it was only letters- snail mail. No phone calls, no emails or IMs. Anyways, with only two weeks we were as serious as they were in the book. We had said I love you's and talked about marriage- and somehow I knew I would marry him. (For any of those who know my dating status and the book, you know what I mean... )

Well, in the story the girl was naive in some ways, and relatively innocent and religious- that was me. The boy, had a "dangerous" past but was a gentleman (or at least he was to me). Anyways, in the book the girl "Dear Johns" him. The same thing happened with me, but for different reasons. The stories differ here but not the feelings. She had fallen in love with someone else but still did love John. When I broke it off with the guy I still loved him. I thought I was doing the right thing though. Anyways, I broke it off, but in the book and in my story it was the guy who cut off contact- which really was best for me and for Savannah (the girl in the book). In her case he loved her enough to let her live her life with her husband and not break up their marriage. For me, we really had gone on different paths and it wasn't right anymore. He cut off communication for who knows why, but it was best for him and for me. I like the girl still think of him. He was my first in a lot of ways and I will always remember him and those times with fondness, but it didn't work out. And I AM glad for it. I know I'm better off, and I know he's doing well. I don't know what would have happened had I not sent the Dear John letter, but I no longer know if it would've worked like I once believed it would. Anyways, if I went through little by little I could probably draw endless conclusions but I think this suffices. I liked the end of the book but it was sad to me. She had moved on, and I wish he had moved on, at least a little more, if they could never be together. In the end, I feel like I'm in his position. I no longer wish to be with that guy, but I want to know that he's happy. I haven't seen him, but I know he is and that's what matters. And I know I'm happy too.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Mouse/Rat Story

So today I went to work, for any who doesn't know, I help out with 3 kids (mainly 3 kids sometimes there's more). Today when I got there in the morning, everything was in disarray. There were kids standing on chairs and yelling and screaming, and TayLynn was on top of the kitchen counter. All happening when they should've been getting dressed and ready for school and eating breakfast. The story was- there was a mouse. It had been spotted that morning and everyone was afraid of it. It had supposedly ran under the refrigerator, last anyone had seen it and they were afraid of it jumping out at them. The mom went out to buy mouse traps- supposedly there are new ones that can be reused. She bought them, and I cleaned the living room, under the couches and vacuumed. It looked so pretty when I finished, and then I put one of the new mouse traps under part of the sectional couch. I never saw the mouse today. But I did play along with the kids. Ones of them mentioned seeing the mouse and I pretended to act all afraid. Kiana then came to me and comfortingly put her hand on my leg (it's where she could reach) and said, "It's ok, it's not scary. It's Janessa's mouse." Not true. Janessa is her older sister and is just one of those types that would never have a mouse.

The whole incident reminded me of a story that happened to me when I was still very little. I say very little because I think I was only about 8. I woke up in the middle of the night, one night and was lying on my back. I noticed a lump on my stomach/chest area. I figured it was a clump of blankets but it wouldn't pat down. I then lifted up the blanket expecting to find a stuffed animal or something, but to my surprise there was a rat, in my bed, on top of me. I freaked out and went running to my parents room down the hall telling them there was a rat in my bed. They came back and checked and couldn't find it. They left, but I was convinced it was still there. I turned on my lights and proceeded to look in my closet and behind things, and finally underneath my bed, where he was in the corner looking at me. I ran back to my parents room and had them look underneath my bed, but by then he had disappeared altogether. So basically, I woke up with a rat on me, but no one else ever saw it.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Obama

I have titled this blog as "Obama" for a reason. I'm not really going to talk about who he is, or what he is, or even my opinion on him. Suffice it to say, he's not my favorite person (but I don't hate him) and I didn't vote for him, but I ALSO feel some of the ridicule is ridiculous.

Here's the thing, I have learned from being in leadership positions that everyone has a different way of doing things. SOMETIMES there's a right way and a wrong way, but it's determined by the OUTCOME. Whenever something goes wrong, those in leadership get blamed- but really? Can YOU do better? If not, then how can you so rudely criticize? I can understand knowing idealogies and trying to share them to better the country's atmosphere, but friendly criticism and just hating because you don't agree are two different things.

So I don't agree with Obama, BUT he has 4 years to try out his ideas. Like it or not, he was elected- it's now his chance to do HIS best (not what you think is best- should've voted for yourself if that's the case) to try and fix the problems our nation faces. If he screws up ROYALLY, we have to have faith in our government to impeach him before we are beyond repair. But I find it hard to believe that ONE man can destroy our democracy. Even Obama followers don't want a dictatorship. So therefore, I don't think we can lose everything. And we do have checks and balances in our system set up.

So in my opinion, be involved in politics, speak out when you disagree, so that the checks and balances can make sure nothing goes alright. So give him a break, even if you don't agree with him. If you don't like what he does VOTE FOR SOMEONE ELSE NEXT ELECTION!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Misconceptions about Satan's Plan

Tonight this topic came up briefly in Institute, and from my studies, what was said is NOT doctrine. I am going to explain, what I feel the doctrine of the matter is, and the scriptures and quotes that have led me to this belief. (At this point of time, I don't even know that I have quotes, I think it is mainly scripture and reasoning, but I will share whatever led me to this belief.)

Tonight we were talking about the Garden of Eden. How if we had followed Satan's plan, they would've been forced to partake of the fruit. This implies that Satan's plan involves forcing people to do right. Let's first take a look as to where this conception starts.

Moses 4:1-3, "And I, the Lord God, spake unto Moses, saying: That Satan, whom thou hast commanded in the name of mine Only Begotten, is the same which was from the beginning, and he came before me, saying- Behold, here am I, send me, I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor. But, behold my Beloved Son, which was my Beloved and Chosen from the beginning, said unto me- Father, thy will be done, and the glory be thing forever. Wherefore, because that Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I, the Lord God, had given him, and also, that I should give unto him mine own power; by the power of mine Only Begotten, I caused that he should be cast down;"

So this talks about how Satan and Jesus Christ both stepped forward to set the Father's plan in motion but Jesus Christ was chosen because Satan sought to destroy the agency of man. So, it's pretty clear- destroying agency- without agency you then, must, of necessity, be forced right? If we are not free to choose then it's because we're being forced. So this was Satan's plan? To force us all to do right and then it would be all his glory?

On lds.org there is a definition of agency given. (Click HERE if you want to see the source.) It tells us, "Agency is the ability and privilege God gives us to choose and to act for ourselves. Agency is essential in the plan of salvation. Without it, we would not be able to learn or progress or follow the Savior. With it, we are "free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil" (2 Nephi 2:27)."

Can you not also destroy agency by taking away accountability? If no matter what we choose, liberty and eternal life was still granted, then wouldn't that ALSO defeat agency? We could no longer choose captivity and death- even IF we wanted it. Thereby thwarting our ability to really choose. Satan sought to let us do whatever we wanted with no consequences, no accountability, instead of seeking to force us to do right. I will cite another example as to why I think THIS is Satan's plan.

In the Bible Dictionary we read, under the section of the "War in Heaven". This section makes everything clearer to me, so I'm just going to copy the whole section and italicize the most important parts, in my opinion.

This term arises out of Rev. 12:7 and refers to the conflict that took place in the premortal existence among the spirit children of God. The war was primarily over how and in what manner the plan of salvation would be administered to the forthcoming human family upon the earth. The issues involved such things as agency, how to gain salvation, and who should be the Redeemer. The war broke out because one-third of the spirits refused to accept the appointment of Jesus Christ as the Savior. Such a refusal was a rebellion against the Father's plan of redemption. It was evident that if given agency, some persons would fall short of complete salvation; Lucifer and his followers wanted salvation to come automatically to all who passed through mortality, without regard to individual preference, agency, or voluntary dedication(see Isa. 14:12-20; Luke 10:18; Rev. 12:4-13; D&C 29:36-38; Moses 4:1-4). The spirits who thust rebelled and persisted were thrust out of heaven and cast down to the earth without mortal bodies, "and thus came the devil and his angels" (D&C 29:37; see also Rev. 12: 9; Abr. 3:24-28).

The warfare is continued in mortality in the conflict between right and wrong; between the gospel and false principles, etc. The same contestants and the same issues are doing battle, and the same salvation is at stake.

Although one-third of the spirits became devils, the remaining two-thirds were not equally valiant, there being every degree of devotion to Christ and the Father among them. The most diligent were chosen to be rulers in the kingdom (Abr. 3:22-23). The nature of the conflict however, is such that there could be no neutrals, then or now (Matt. 12:30; 1 Ne. 14:10; Alma 5:38-40).


When you think about how the SAME war that was being fought then is being fought NOW, it helps you realize a few things. Does Satan try and FORCE us to do right? No, he usually tries to get us to do wrong. How? By making us rationalize that the consequences aren't what they're hyped up to be, or it doesn't matter, or it's just one time, or no one will know... the list goes on. Satan would have us do whatever we wish with no consequences. To me, understanding this principle of what we REALLY stood for, not just the right to choose, but the right to choose and be accountable, so we can choose an OUTCOME through our little actions helps me understand other principles. For example, abortion. Some people think the church's standpoint is somewhat contradictory, and I think that is because they misunderstand. They say we believe that thou shalt not murder, nor do anything like unto it. So people say, abortion is "like unto it". So it must be murder. But if it's wrong, then it's wrong. Right? Well, if we were going by that standard, yes. But the Church has exceptions. If the woman was raped for example, the Church feels the girl has the choice to keep or abort the baby. How is this right and not abortion in all circumstances? I think it leads back to what Satan's plan is. Our GOAL in life is win the war against Satan. And what in essence is he trying to destroy? Accountability. Why should a girl be forced to live with the results of being pregnant if she didn't have a choice in the first place? I think THIS is how the defining line of where the exceptions are drawn and where they aren't. Does it encourage Satan's plan? If a girl were to CHOOSE to have sex, KNOWING pregnancy is a possibility, does she get to ALSO choose whether or not she gets caught? To put it maybe a bit more extreme but within the same concept- do we get to do things that qualify us for captivity and death and then get to choose eternal life? No, our goal in life is to bring our actions in line with the outcome we want- not just decide we want something we haven't worked for. To do so would destroy Christ's plan and choose that indeed we do believe Satan's plan. For it would be easier to just be granted eternal life, automatically, regardless of agency, but we wouldn't have really learned anything, or grown or be worthy of the gift or eternal life.

"We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam's transgression." (2nd Article of Faith) We believe in choice and accountability, as the Young Women's values taught me and we hold to it.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

"Hank"

So this is a sadder post. Yesterday I was driving to a doctor's appointment. I noticed on my way there that my RPMs were out of control... My car was working hard and not even going the speed limit- and I wasn't going uphill. I'm not very smart with stuff about cars but I knew something was up. I put my hazards on and moved to the slow lane and tried to keep it under 2 RPMs- which helped me go like 15 mph in a 50 mph zone. Then I hit a stop light and as I was passing through my RPMs just dropped to zero and I couldn't hit any gas at all anymore. I wasn't running on empty. I pulled over and called the doctor's office to cancel my appointment. Then I called my sister- the plan was to call AAA, but then I figured I'd try turning off my car and giving it a rest and turning it back on. It worked. But there was an awful knocking noise now- brand new. Great. I thought about driving home and opted on taking it in instead. I started heading back towards downtown Provo and called my Dad. I took it to Smith's Garage- they've helped me out before. He said he'd look at it and today I called and got the diagnosis. The motor is in really bad condition and needs to be replaced and there is some leak in the oil- which caused the knocking noise. I was running on almost no oil- weird cause I got that looked at the first week of December. But I guess when there's a leak I guess it DOES vanish quicker. So it costs too much to fix my car, Henry, or as my friend Scotti refers to him- "Hank", and so Hank is as good as dead- we're going to have to put him out of his misery. I NEVER referred to my car as Hank til now- but for some reason it feels right. So this post is "Hank's" obituary.

I've known Hank his whole life, and my whole driving life. Yes I was "one of those spoiled rotten kids". I had my permit and knew that I would get a car. The deal in my family was, straight A's got you a car, as much as my parents could afford, and for every grade below you got a lower and lower price range. I had straight A's though and so I got my pick. We looked at different cars- the Honda Civic and Accord and the Infiniti G20 were our top picks. The reasons for picking the Infiniti G20- it had leather seats, whereas the Hondas you had to upgrade to get the leather. The Infiniti had a sun/moon roof the Honda did not. The Infiniti had a tape player AND a cd player. The Honda had a tape player but you had to upgrade for a cd player. The Infiniti had keyless entry. AND my little sisters' favorite- the back seats folded down into the trunk. The models we were looking at with Honda did not. To top it all off, it was $2,000 cheaper than either of the Hondas. (Course it didn't end up being cheaper- I'll explain later). I decided on the color red. So it was set- or so I thought. Then one day my Dad tells me they only had made 2 red cars in the whole state of CA and they were both already sold. So we went back to the lot and I decided on blue- dark blue.

The day of my birthday came and we were getting ready to go to dinner (a family tradition- on your birthday you get to choose where we eat, or when we couldn't afford it, we got to choose what my Mom made for dinner) and my Dad tells me, the blue cars have all been sold, let's stop by the dealer on the way to dinner and you can pick out another color. I had already seen the other colors- I didn't really like them in comparison. I mean I was happy to just be getting a car but if I couldn't have the color I wanted- why force me to waste time deciding between colors I don't care about? So I asked, "What about the blue car that was on the lot?" Apparently someone else had bought it for their daughter- probably a similar case. So I was dragged to the dealership once again and was NOT ecstatic. Couldn't they just pick another color? I didn't care. And I don't like shopping- not for cars, or clothes anyways and other stuff like that. We walked through the front and then the guy who had been helping us throughout the whole experience said there were more in the back. We walked to the back and there is a blue car with balloons on it, and I'm thinking- lucky girl, she got the last blue car. We're walking and I'm following the guy and my Dad goes, "What do you think of that blue car?" I'm getting really annoyed with my Dad- he's making me choose another color when I told him I don't have a preference anymore and now he's rubbing it in. So without turning around to look at my Dad I'm like, "It's great Dad, it's the color I wanted." And he goes, "Yeah, but what do you think of it?" I really was not in the mood to have anything rubbed in (this shows how spoiled I am, or how much I hate being forced to choose when I don't have a preference, not sure which one it shows more). I turned around, I don't know what I was going to say, but I saw my Dad looking at me.... with a video camera. And it sunk in. The car was mine. I was like, "I thought the one on the lot had been sold?" To make a long story short, it had been, the story I heard was accurate, this car was slightly different, it was a G20t, the t made all the difference in the world. It bumped up the price, which my Dad paid. And the guy who had been helping us had driven it up from San Diego just that morning. There were only 2 cars left when my Dad bought this one, the other one was in San Francisco area. The t meant it had a turbo engine and "European style headrests" and something different about the tires. So thus began mine and Hank's journey.

We had many good memories in that car. Driving my sisters around, letting them play in the trunk. My freshmen year of college. Racing. That brought Scotti and I together- our first discussion was about how I had a nice car, and the first night we met we raced home. I won. Scotti says I cheated, but I don't recall setting rules to cheat on... :) Getting a racing ticket and going to traffic school with Scotti- our "first date". Haha. That's a whole other story. Going to the temple. Pondering. Driving in general. Making it home in record time. And more recently, taking it slow. I've put Hank through more than his fair share, but I think he still knows I care. When I first got him I used to wash him every week- those were good times too. It became a good way to release stress. And now our times are through, but I will ALWAYS remember my Hank. He was my "first" and will always have a place in my heart. Love you Hank!

Henry "Hank" Lang
Feb. 24, 2001- Jan. 5, 2010

Friday, January 1, 2010

A Sunny Day goes a LONG, long way

Today my parents and I were talking about, well way more than I'm going to include in this small post. We started talking about my ideal career, and then as a side comment, my Mom was like, "Out of all the kids, you are the one we worry the LEAST about trying to convince to move back to California." Reason being, although I am adaptable and can live anywhere I'm needed, California is my ideal home. There's no convincing needed as long as it's feasible. My Dad started teasing me about how I LOVE the Provo, Utah weather. And then we started discussing how usually January and February are VERY cloudy with very little sun. I've noticed that in my years in Utah. There was one year, in particular that I remember being bad. I felt like I hadn't seen the sun in months- though weeks was probably more accurate. I mean, I could see it's light getting through hazy clouds, but it was always more of a blur- not that same is a bright summer's day and puffy white clouds temporarily covering the sun. Anyways, this one year was AWFUL! My birthday is towards the end of February and I remember praying for a sunny birthday- it was the ONLY thing I really wanted that year. I woke up- normal haze. Went to class. I remember walking out of the Benson building and being able to go home- and it was sunny. There were still clouds, but I could actually SEE the sun, not just it's light. I'm sure it must've also been that time of month, but I cried, not teared up- I full out, cried, my whole way home. I remember passing people on the stairs south of campus and seeing them look at me funny, trying to figure out if I was alright- but I was. I was SO happy, just to see the sun. That was one of the greatest birthdays ever. I have other favorites, but that memory and the warmth of the sun, literally and figuratively, will ALWAYS remain with me. I believe it to have been my present that year from a Heavenly Father who loves me. He hasn't given me sunny days every year, not even if I ask for them every year, but that year, when it meant so much to me- it came. And I don't think it's a mere coincidence. Today was sunny and in the 70s- my type of winter day! :)